Tuesday, August 18, 2009

10 Reasons To Be Careful w/ a 10inch Knife

ONE- the obvious first, a 10 inch knife is a big f#*king knife

TWO- it can cut through chicken bones with ease

THREE- my (your) fingers are not much larger than a chicken bone

FOUR- sometimes the only contents of a first aid kit are bandaids, finger cots and neosporin
FIVE- it's creepy to be the sweaty, pale-faced guy with a bloody dish towel wrapped around his hand looking for gauze and latex gloves at CVS

SIX- it's even worse when you realize afterwards that you also had blood on your chin

SEVEN- the sixty year old woman working at CVS feels bad for YOU!?

EIGHT- calling the doctor on your cell phone and trying to drive with a bandaged club hand is not considered safe by the National Highway Safety Commision

NINE- you may scare children so much they start to cry and cringe with fear at the sight of your bandaged hand, even your own daughter

TEN- do you know how big ten inches actually is?

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